Black Woman Cake….written by a Black Man

(It’s a Great Message) NEVER FORGET!

I’m making a black woman cake cause I’m hungry as hell. And the sweet tooth I have only a sister can break the spell. 
Let me reach into my spice rack to see what I can get. 
To make a mix that will stick to my stomach you can bet. 
2 cups of intelligence
1 cup of sugar brown 
(Cause she’s got to be sweet, mental, sound and deep) 
Cinnamon is always good to accent the taste 
A few cups of culture, so she’s down for her race 
(You see I won’t bite into anything that’s not conscious of its own, that’s why I stick to chocolate and leave angel food alone) 
I am adding butter cause she must be smooth 
2 raisins for the dimples will also be cool 
I must add eggs so she can reproduce 
(Can’t leave her hanging cause I like children too) 
I think I’ll add a little salt, to balance her out 
And a dominant profile, to show she has clout 
For a responsible woman, I’ll throw in some yeast 
(So she’ll swell with juices, when I’m ready to feast) 
I’ll add 7 cups of courage and into the oven to bake 
Turn it to 360 degrees, To balance out her mental state. 
Now that it’s done brothers, I won’t share her wealth, but I’m sharing the recipe as I’m consuming this black woman all by myself. 

Good Black Women are indeed all around us. 
We pass them on the streets, in the malls, in captivity behind the walls, and in the hall at work. Most we can’t see because we don’t know what a good woman really looks like. She usually isn’t flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. She might not wear afur coat or push a Lexus. She might not have a “body by Fisher” or a face for “Ebony.” But as you mature, you realize it’s better to find someone who’s got your back than someone who turns your head. 

A Good Black Woman doesn’t agree whole-heartedly with everything you say. She doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite She doesn’t have to declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada, yada, yada, she is (she won’t have to…because it shows) She has her own opinions, and you may clash, but she doesn’t have to degrade you to prove she’s right. She even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same. 

A Good Black Woman is not going to meet every item on your checklist. She is human with frailties & faults mixed in with all of her wonderful, sensual attributes. She needs your love & respect. She needs to feel that you don’t have to catch her doing something wrong so you can declare “Aha I knew all along” 

A Good Black Woman doesn’t necessarily give you a huge Birthday or Valentine gift. She shows her love in the ways that are comfortable to her. Don’t judge her by TV standards. No one is living that Fairy tale—for real. 

BLACK WOMEN, we salute you, and thank you for who you are, and all you’ve done. 


Pass this along to some of the “Good Black Women” you know, and a few men that need to read it. 

Motorist often breeze right thru inner city school zones

Growing up in the inner city, but traveling thru the suburbs to go work. I usually notice drastic differences while changing zip codes throughout the day. Mainly, drivers will just blow through the 15 mph suggested speed warnings in the inner city school districts. But come to almost a complete halt in the white suburban areas. All kids are equally valuable, so treat the speed warning as such. Slow down at ALL school districts, Not just the ones that you think that matter.

Contributed by Lombeh Harrison

Last night , I was listening to the incomparable Jill Scott. Beautifully Human—Words and Sounds, Vol. 2 has been in put back in rotation and has been there for some weeks now. But, for some reason it sounded different on this night, and when "The Fact Is (I Need You)" came on I let out a loud and exasperating sigh at the climax of the song:



I could be congresswoman

Or a garbage woman or

Police officer, or a carpenter

I could be a doctor and a lawyer and a mother and a good girl

God what you've done to me

Kind of lover I could be

I could be a computer analyst, the Queen with the nappy hair raising her fist

Or I could be much more and a myriad of this

Hot as the summer, sweet as the first kiss

And even though I can do all these things

I need you

And even though I can do all these things

We need you

We need you

We need you

And even though I can do all these things by my damn self

I need you

I do, I do, I do, I do


“We need to give brothers back their manhood”, I said aloud.

Black love has been under siege. Slavery, continuing racism, and oppression have deeply fractured our lives and relationships. History, societal forces, and even government policy have worked together to put stressors on black relationships. The slave master’s divide and conquer philosophy of, never letting a black women think she can count on a black man and never letting a black man think he can take care his woman, has continued to flourish in our communities. The emergence of the welfare system in the 1960’s discouraged many poor women from finding husbands. In the 1970’s and 1980’s, drugs infiltrated our communities and ravaged and pummeled our families. These are disturbing legacies that must be extinguished.

We need to remember and truly understand our brother’s plight and current circumstance. Brothers, in America, have been and continue to be on the defense at all the times and must always ready for the next insult or assault. They receive these insults and assaults from outsiders, as well as from sisters. Being on the defensive makes it difficult for brothers to open up and be vulnerable. Society says that men need to be dishonest with their emotions. Society teaches men to run from intimacy and self-love. Despite what society says, we need to allow brothers to be courageous and free. You can’t build relationships and learn to love without being courageous and free. We need to allow our men to confront their fears, in order to understand who they are as men.

I know, I know. Some sisters are tired, and disappointed. A lot of us have adopted the “I can do bad all by myself” doctrine. Some of us think we don’t need our men anymore. Some of us have run out of patience. Yes, there is an urgent need for brothers to grow up, mature, and take responsibility for their families and relationships. There is an urgent need for brothers to secure our children, and recover our communities. But, brothers cannot do this alone. Sister cannot do this alone. Sisters need to continue to support, and be patient. We must continue to be encouraging. Sisters must continue to be loving. We must love our black men more strongly. Loving strongly does not equate to being enablers. Sisters must stop being enablers, and brothers must cease in the manipulation of our emotions. Brothers should be aiming to cooperate, and not to dominate.

Building healthy, loving, and successful relationships is a major key that will aid in the progress of recovering our communities. This is a key to our transformation. We cannot abandon our brothers. We need to show appreciation, give appropriate criticism. We need to give brothers the freedom to be men, again. This right was stolen from them over 250 years ago. This is the most revolutionary thing we can do.

Contributed by Bella from elusivereble.tumblr.com

Do I like nice things? Yes, of course. Can I afford those things? Not quite. Okay not at all really. Because I am a broke bitch (for now), not to be confused with a BUM bitch. A bum bitch will have light bill money in her hand, but use it to buy some heels instead because she “had” to have them- for no good reason except to be cute. Me? I will have light bill money in my hand, and pay my muthafuckin light bill. I may be wearing flip flops, but at least my electricity will prevent me from stubbing my toes on furniture at night. I don’t understand the urge to impress people who truly don’t even give a fuck what you have. A chick told you that your shoes were fly today… great. Then you go home to no lights & can’t even see your fly ass shoes… not so great. There are people who can do both, buy the shoes and pay the light bill. I am not talking about them, I tip my hat to them. GET IT. I’m talking about the people who would like you to believe they are doing well simply because they have nice things. Yup, you can have nice things and still be a bum. Bum is a state of mind. Broke is a state of being. Like lazy vs. tired. 

Lazy (bum) = someone just doesn’t feel like doing shit, so they don’t. State of mind.

Tired (broke) = someone has actually been doing something, so now they are exhausted. State of being.

Which brings me to this…

Bum: lives beyond their means for the sake of their ego. more concern for appearance than consequence.

Broke: sacrifices material things for the sake of their responsibilities. more concern for their simple well-being.

Bum: makes poor choices, then asks people to help them.

Broke: does the right thing, hesitant to ask for help.

Bum: spends time complaining about being broke.

Broke: spends time thinking of ways to be un-broke.

Bum: dresses better than their child(ren). falls easily into temptation.

Broke: might look like a bum BECAUSE their money was spent on their child(ren)’s clothes. self-disciplined.

Bum: by choice.

Broke: by circumstance.

Bum: thinks nothing is wrong with being on public assistance/ content with it for years.

Broke: thinks something is wrong with being on public assistance/ only wants it to be temporary.

Bum: has fantasies.

Broke: has goals.

Bum: won’t reach for their wallet when out with friends.

Broke: won’t accept the invitation to go out in the first place if they know they can't afford to.

I could go on but I won’t. Some people need to stop being so concerned with the latest trends in fashion and worry about the latest trends in the economy. Which in case you haven’t noticed… not looking so great. Like I said, if you can be fashion savvy AND pay your rent, mortgage, bills, etc. on time, that is AWESOME. But if you can’t, get it together. Too many bums out here criticizing broke people, as if they aren’t one check away from being homeless their damn self. I don’t speak for everyone but I’d rather have a stable household than have someone compliment my outfit.

Contributed by elusiverebel.tumblr.com

The same people who say “fuck love” are the ones who crave it the most. That is a bitter sentiment. Love is awesome. Whatever you are saying “fuck” to couldn’t have been love. And most of the time, people end up in that state of mind for holding on more tightly to their desires than they do their intuition. Some people crave love so bad, they don’t realize THAT is what is standing in their way of having it. They settle or move too fast, which only leads to disappointment. Love takes time to develop between two people. Love cannot be planned. And no matter how bad you want it, love cannot be forced or created. It manifests on its own, at its own pace.

If you have someone “to pass the time” that’s fine, just make sure they know that and conduct yourself accordingly. But if you feel like you’re developing feelings for someone, proceed with caution. People can be very impulsive. See a nice jacket? Buy it… then check your bank account the next day and say, “Damn. I shouldn’t have done that.” You can return it, or keep it and bring leftovers for lunch to work for a week. But make that same impulsive mistake with investing your heart and it’s a different story. By the time you say, “Damn. I shouldn’t have done that.” it’s too late. And I’m not being gender-specific for a reason. Men do this, women do this. Yes, men need to be careful with their hearts too. So I’m speaking universally. I’m not a psychologist, but I know some things about life. Men get their feelings hurt and hearts broken, they just handle it differently for the most part. Women will call their friends and cry, post it on facebook, make a movie about it, etc. I’m not saying ALL, but you know…

Anyway, back to the subject. In order to recognize love, you have to supress your desire for it to a certain extent. Some people let it get the best of them and it clouds their judgment. Don’t be so easily impressed. It’s very easy for someone to say something sweet and put a smile on your face. It’s also very easy for someone to say something about their self that they think you’d like to hear. And if you have high hopes for love, you may just WANT to believe it. I’m not saying that person is lying to you, I’m just saying time will tell. This sounds like common sense but you’d be surprised. Just like you may be surprised at the amount of people who confuse sex to mean they are in a relationship. Some people figure, “Oh we’re getting along pretty well, we hang out here and there, and we’re fucking so we must be in a relationship.” No.

I know it’s 2011 and we’re grown, so the “will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?” approach is not the way to go. But if you start to develop genuine feelings for someone after a while, as an adult it is your responsibility to ask the other person if they have an interest in seeing other people and hope they answer honestly (this of course would be after you asked if they had anyone else in their life to begin with). If you don’t ask, there is a low probability they will volunteer the fact that there is another person (or other people even) in the equation. Eventually you may discover, learn about, or see it for yourself and then what? You can’t be mad. It’s not fair to hold someone to a certain expectation if you never put it out there for them to agree to. That’s like offering someone money and assuming they are going to pay you back, even though you never said “I need this back by such and such date, is that going to work for you?” Then you see them buying new shoes and you say, “Hey, what about my money?” and they will look at you like, "What the fuck?"

Never assume someone has the same train of thought you do. Everyone is wired differently, was raised differently, etc. And ignoring red flags in order to “protect” your feelings from the truth will only make it harder to accept the truth when it comes out, because you put so much energy into denying it. Which brings me to this point, you will know how someone feels about you by the way they make YOU feel. If someone wants you to be happy, they will make you happy. And you will do the same for them. So, if you don’t feel special to someone, chances are… you aren’t. If someone is constantly disappointing you, upsetting you, disrespecting you, not reciprocating your love, etc. it’s safe to say they feel you are not worth their sincere efforts or self-improvement. They don’t care if you’re happy or not. “It’s whatever.” And it’s that simple. It’s your decision to hold on or let go. I know that is easier said than done, but as someone who once had difficulty making that decision, I can tell you that when the bad outweighs the good- just let go. Admit to yourself that some things were meant to be, but not meant to last. Such as my previous relationship with my kids’ father. I believe we were meant to be at one point to create the three lives that bring me inexplicable joy every day. But we were definitely not meant to last. After leaving him, several months later I crossed paths with someone who has since shown me that what I had before wasn’t even love at all. But at the same time, what I had before has taught me to never convince myself that anything is meant to last. I enjoy the time as it passes and if we should ever part ways, I will be thankful for the experience. That is why you will never hear me say “fuck love.” If you are honest with yourself, you won’t either.

Remember the first time you heard Carrie Bradshaw (Sex in the City) talk about Christian Louboutin or even wore a pair on the show?  This was the first time many females started to notice those sexy pumps because of its signature red sole aka “Red Bottoms”.  After this encounter with Carrie Bradshaw and the love for her shoes (Louboutin), the red bottom epidemic has started and designer Christian Louboutin was now a household name where everyone wanted to go out and get them a pair of colorful soles, preferably “Red Bottoms”.

Every female wants to get their hands on a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes or “Red Bottoms” as many call them.  What is all the hype about? Why are we females so interested in the designer, the brand, the style, the red Bottoms?  This is all because of the name.  Now don’t get me wrong, I would die for a pair of Louboutin’s and have seen a lot of cute shoes that I want, but it is not that serious to empty my account for a pair....or is it?

What a lot of females don’t know is that you can have a hot shoe game and not break your bank account, especially when it comes to purchasing those expensive “Red bottoms”.  There are a lot of on-line sites that sells Christian Louboutin shoes on a budget for less than $500.  Net.A.Porter.com is a great shoe site and female’s heaven for shopping for the right shoes for any occasion that has every designer shoe even Christian Louboutins for under $500 and yes they are the real deal. 

Advertisement Each month there is a different style that comes out that leaves us females looking for a way to get them  Louboutin’s like: Double platform, hidden platform, spikes, studs, Nude pumps, bright colors, wedges, sling backs, peep-toes, leather, suede and even floral print designs that all have a red sole. 

The “secret lives of red bottoms” is a saying that it’s something that every female wants but will they be able to get them.  We all want them, we all want to look glam in them, we all want all eyes on us when we have them on but at what cost are you willing to spend to get them… That is the question.